


Twilight, It's Like Twilight.

by springdaybutterflies



Series: Together this time in paradise. [2]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jung Wooyoung, Daddy Kink, Eating Disorders, Explicit Sexual Content, Fisting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Foursome, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Hair-pulling, Jongho is Jongho, Love Confessions, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, Smut, Switch Kim Hongjoong, Switch Park Seonghwa, Switch Song Mingi, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Choi San, Top Jeong Yunho, Yeosang is Yeosang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:00:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22525180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springdaybutterflies/pseuds/springdaybutterflies
Summary: “Wooyoung, stop lying to me, you keep lying! What is this about? You used to tell me everything, and now you’re keeping it all to yourself, going as far as to even lie to my face. What can be so bad that you cant even share it with me? Your best friend! Your family!” “I’M NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND HYUNG!” Wooyoung practically screams in his face, shocking Seonghwa into silence. “I’m not your best friend hyung, thats San,” he starts quieter this time, a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks as he lowers his gaze to his lap. “And I am in love with your best friend.”The sequel to This Is How I Feel About You.This work can be read on its own, but I advise you read the prequel in order to have a better understanding of the events that take place in this fic.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Park Seonghwa, Jeong Yunho/Park Seonghwa, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Park Seonghwa/Everyone, Park Seonghwa/Song Mingi
Series: Together this time in paradise. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1426687
Comments: 24
Kudos: 127





	Twilight, It's Like Twilight.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone. Thank you so much for your patience over the last however many months. I am sorry that this took so long to get posted, but I have been constantly changing parts of the plot that I was not so happy with, and after all of this changing and fine tuning I finally have this work completed for you to read. If you're back after waiting for so long, thank you and welcome back, I hope this doesn't disappoint. If you're new, I recommend that you read the prequel to this fic first in order to be able to properly understand the happenings in this story.

It’s been a week. One whole week since their group partook in the activities they did. One whole week since he fucked all of his band members in turn. When he had woken up the next morning he had feared it would be to cold bedsheets, alone, but the boys had stayed and he had woken up wrapped in multiple pairs of arms.

The peaceful, easygoing atmosphere that they had built up over the years thankfully still seemed to be intact, and Seonghwa was extremely grateful for that. But ...something seemed off. Maybe it was the lingering sexual tension in the air, or the fact that he had woken up to all of the boys that morning, except one. Wooyoung. The boy had been distant with him after the event, not seeking him out during movie nights for their usual cuddles and none of his usual spontaneous breakfast invitations were made, their interactions having run dry, as the boy was seemingly avoiding him. 

What Seonghwa couldn’t understand was, why? Usually he had a kind of intuition with these things, knowing when someone in the group was feeling off, or a quarrel had taken place between members. This was why he had been nicknamed the group’s mother. He always seemed to have an idea of a way to fix it, but this time when he tried to think up something he came to a blank.

He could not work out what was wrong with Wooyoung. Had the sexual event they had all partaken in affected him in some way? Had he done something wrong? This feels like the most likely reason, as San had noticed too and mentioned to him as they spent time together during that week that Wooyoung seemed distant and off, and after being the two that had engaged in sexual relations with Wooyoung at the time, they came to the conclusion that this ...thing, may actually be their fault.

Seonghwa slumps forward in his chair in the styling room, groaning out loud as the poor woman standing behind him styling his hair jumps in surprise. He half heartedly apologises to her, mind somewhere else, as he once again lets himself drift off into thought, staring at a smudged spot of what looks to be lipstick on the mirror in front of him.

That day had been really good, probably sitting as one of the best days of his life, along with his first comeback, stage and fansign. He’d look at the members now, images of what they had done together popping into his head, and this week he had had to deal with more than one erection by himself, mostly due to their schedule becoming busy again. They were due to come back two days from now, dedicatedly practicing their asses off and turning up to multiple recording studios to pre-record interviews to be published after the release of their new comeback

Seonghwa was currently getting his hair, makeup and outfit done for an interview where they would be discussing their new image and the meaning of their title track. He was planning on leaving most of the talking to the other members so that he could space out for the majority of the boring interview, thinking about all of the other things he could be doing with that hour. He loved his fans, but couldn’t understand how they enjoyed watching long boring interviews where they were asked mundane questions and gave repetitious, unremarkable answers, as he himself could hardly stay awake throughout the experience.

He felt a firm but gentle tap on his shoulder, re-averting his eyes from the mirror realising he’d been spacing out again, and up to the angelic boy who stood beside his stool, dressed to the nines in an elegant rose gold suit that complemented his washed-out pink hair beautifully. Yeosang grinned back at him, giggling at the look of admiration that covered Seonghwa’s face, his dramatic toothy smile making an appearance. 

“We’re on in 10 hyung and have to head to the interview room. I noticed you were a bit out of it so I thought I'd let you know.” Seonghwa smiles thankfully at his dongsaeng, turning quickly back to the mirror to put a personal touch into his styled black hair, realising that the woman who had been styling him was gone and that he hadn't said a proper thank you. “Thanks Yeosang, let Hongjoong know that I'll be there in two minutes.” “Will do hyung.” And with that, the younger turns and walks away.

Seonghwa rises from the stool, turning around in front of the mirror in order to get a look at the attire he's been garbed in. A tasteful grey tailored suit hugs him snugly, accentuating his petite waist, but giving the illusion of miles broad shoulders. He grabs at the tight black neck tie, loosening it considerably, giving himself both room to breathe and enhancing the look if he does say so himself. He leans in close to the mirror inspecting his reflection meticulously, finding a soft layer of brown eye shadow making his eyes appear significantly larger than they are, and thin black liner accentuating his double eyelid nicely. 

He nods at his reflection approvingly, before turning to the empty styling room and making his way into the hall and toward the recording studio, mentally preparing himself for an hour of smiling at cameras and engaging with nosy interviewers. When he finally reaches the group he first notices his boyfriend fooling around with their leader Hongjoong, Hongjoong making weird bird noises and Mingi flailing his limbs around wildly pretending to be a giraffe. 

When Mingi spots him his face breaks into a bright grin, his eyes disappearing into cute crescents, but not ceasing his ridiculous movements. Seonghwa rolls his eyes at his antics, but a small smile finds its way onto his own face as well. He strolls over to Mingi to fix his now tousled hair, weaving his way between the members as they converse and fool around, but what next catches his eye is Wooyoung. 

The boy stands to the side of the group, music blaring through airpods, a sour expression marring his beautiful features as he stares at something beside Seonghwa. He turns his head in puzzlement, only to be further confused when his eyes land on a laughing San talking to their manager. Was Wooyoung pissed at their manager or San? Seonghwa was completely lost, deciding that he would have a talk with the younger about his weird behaviour when he found time.

He decided to head to Wooyoung instead of his boyfriend, walking up to the boy whose music’s lyrics he can make out the closer he gets. He has never heard Wooyoung listening to such sad music, as it is extremely out of character for the bright bubbly boy who is usually listening to an upbeat BTS song. It seems that he still hasn't noticed Seonghwa approaching, as his gaze is still fixed in San’s general direction, unreadable expression on his face. Seonghwa decides to give him a wee surprise to try and make the boy smile, stalking up to him slowly and approaching him side on to slip behind him and wrap him up in a big hug. 

Wooyoung jolts at the contact in surprise, driving his elbow back hard into Seonghwa’s stomach in self defense. The boy on the receiving end doubles over in pain, clutching his stomach as he falls back against the wall. Wooyoung rips out his music, a look of surprise, shock and panic crossing his face, as he starts waving his hands wildly around Seonghwa, as if not quite sure what to do.

Having watched the scene unfold after his boyfriend hadn’t approached him Mingi rushes to Seonghwa’s side, grabbing the boy softly by the shoulders to support him, checking him over for visible injuries, untucking his dress shirt to reveal a large red mark beginning to form on his tan stomach, which was likely to bruise. San sucks in a sharp breath of shock at the sight, having followed Mingi over along with the other boys. Hongjoong announces he's running to get ice and that they’re on in five, a worried expression plastered on his face as he runs to fetch a crack to chill ice pack from a first aid kit. 

All eyes are on a coughing Seonghwa as he clutches his stomach with a shaky hand, trying to wave everyone off, claiming he is okay when he clearly isn't. It's a shiver of sorts that first catches Seonghwa’s attention out of the corner of his eye, but when he lifts his gaze from his hands he is shocked by the sight that greets him. Wooyoung stands to the side, quivering softly as fat tears roll down his cheeks, a hand clasped firmly over his mouth to hide shuddered breaths. 

He straightens as quickly as the pain in his stomach will allow him, grabbing Wooyoung gently and pulling him into a firm embrace. The boy curls into him, small sobs causing him to shudder softly. The other members finally catching on to what has happened begin talking in hushed voices around them. Seonghwa reaches a hand up, running his fingers soothingly through the younger’s hair the way he knows he likes it, as small choked I’m sorrys and I didn't mean to’s, slip past Wooyoung’s lips, that he feels more than hears as his lips are pressed against Seonghwa’s chest. 

“Hey Wooyoung, it was an accident, I'm okay. It’s not your fault, I shouldn't have snuck up on you like I did, it gave you a fright so I’m sorry too.” Wooyoung just shakes his head into his chest, seemingly having calmed down as only soft sniffles escape from where his face is pressed against Seonghwa’s suit. 

Honjoong runs back toward them, ice pack in hand and manager in tow. “I have managed to push the interview back,” their manager says eyeing Wooyoung buried into Seonghwa’s chest. “But we will need to begin touch ups now.” He gestures at Hongjoong. “And there's an ice pack Seonghwa, get that on you so we can begin to get the bruising down. Let me know if you feel any discomfort during the interview and I can pull you out,” he says, genuine concern in his eyes. Seonghwa nods just as a few of the makeup noonas rush up to them, carefully prying Wooyoung from Seonghwa, who looks like he’d rather stay pressed up to the elder.

They button up Seonghwa’s suit jacket uncomfortably high to hide the tear stains left from Wooyoung’s wee episode, attaching an ice pack under his belt so that he can keep it throughout the interview without raising concerns for their fans. He glances worriedly over to the boy in mention, finding everyone else doing the same. The makeup noona’s have worked very efficiently, the only sign of shed tears being a slight glassiness to the young boy’s eyes. Otherwise his makeup and hair have been touched up to perfection, making him look runway ready as always. 

Once they've been given the all clear on their appearances Seonghwa opens up his arms to the boy again, who falls into them readily, returning the hug. Seonghwa wonders what set him off, knowing that he’s been acting peculiar recently and that the reaction must be from some other pent up emotions as well. He now knows that he's going to need to have a conversation with the younger desperately soon, before something else happens. He knows something is wrong, but not what it is. He needs to find out as soon as possible to help Wooyoung get through it.

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The next couple of days rush by in a whirlwind of events, and despite multiple attempts at making an effort with talking to Wooyoung, Seonghwa always seems to get interrupted mid sentence or just as he's about to try breaching the topic of his peculiar behaviour. The group are hectic, making last minute preparations and practicing for their first live stage of their new comeback song, wanting it to be perfect. Their leader seems the most stressed, running around like a headless chicken checking on the members dancing and health, routinely monitoring Seonghwa’s bruise that has turned a ghastly shade of blue-black, and pressing ice to it every few hours despite protests from the eldest. 

Although it isn't only him, with Mingi acting up as well, demanding comforting cuddles constantly from Seonghwa and trying to always be his boyfriend’s centre of attention. Seonghwa is used to this pattern of behaviour from his boyfriend around comeback times, but being used to it doesn't make it any less irritating. 

Today is the day of their MV’s release, and they are all sitting around in the living room, waiting for the last fifteen minutes until it is finally uploaded onto the internet for the world to watch and either love or criticise. Seonghwa hopes there is less of the latter, but knows that as always there will also be some people who hate and criticise their work, as well as others that will love and appreciate it.

He is currently sitting on one of their many couches, Mingi trying his hardest to curl up on his lap in the cramped space, demanding head rubs. Seonghwa sighs at his boyfriend’s clinginess but obliges anyway, carding his fingers gently through Mingi’s hair who groans softly at the contact. He hits his boyfriend over the back of the head at the sound, shooting a look across the room at their manager, who has his eyebrows raised slightly at the couple but doesn't comment on their weird behaviour, or Mingi’s to be exact. They were lucky he’d been so accepting of their relationship privately since the beginning, but they knew they’d never be able to come out with it publicly, as homosexual relationships in Korea were looked down upon and they were constantly in the public eye.

His attention span had been extremely short as of late, as he has been brought out of his thoughts seemingly constantly recently, so when he hears his members begin counting down the final minute until their MV is released he joins in, not questioning how he had just sat there daydreaming for nearly fourteen minutes straight until their loud voices had gotten him out of his head. “54 ...32…. 17… 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5.” He feels himself gulp. “4, 3.” He holds his breath in anticipation. “2, 1, it's up!” Hongjoong yells in excitement, the boys all whooping in happiness, sighs of relief circulating the group.

He feels a hand in his hair, pulling him back, and is shocked to see San staring at him joyously before pressing a long closed mouth kiss to his lips, laughing between the shared contact. He pushes him away quickly hissing at him that their manager is still in the room, but is quickly pulled into another kiss, this time by their leader, followed by one from a whining Mingi. The rest of their group comes crowding around them, hugging and laughing, large weights having seemingly lifted off their shoulders. The thought of the first stage of their new title song that they would be performing the following day had not quite sunken in yet, as they celebrate the first step of this new comeback.

When the boys had finally decided to stop kissing him he first looks for the manager, seeing that he’s standing to the side watching the boys celebrate with a large smile on his face that he quickly masks when he notices Seonghwa staring. He then turns his attention to the boys surrounding him, a feeling of worry making its way into his gut when he realises one boy is missing. Wooyoung. 

He quickly rises, a small look of panic crossing his face that the others notice instantly, questions of whether he is okay being asked, as he quickly rushes out of his room and toward the one San shares with Wooyoung. When he gets there he grabs the door handle, finding it unlocked and flying into the room. When he barges in it takes his eyes a while to adjust as the curtains are drawn tightly closed, not even the tiniest sliver of light making its way into the room, but as soon as he is able to see faint quivering coming from the lump under the covers on Wooyung’s bed he turns to lock the door so that they won't be disturbed.

He steps cautiously over to the bed, small gasps and sobs becoming audible as he approaches closer, breaking his heart slightly. When he finally reaches the bed he sinks down gingerly on the mattress beside the quivering lump, hearing a soft muffled gasp escape from under the bed sheets as the bed dips. He places a hand over the bump on the bed, rubbing soothing circles over what he assumes to be Wooyoung’s back and mumbling softly to the upset boy. “Hey baby, how about you come out so we can have a talk okay? I’ve been meaning to approach you recently but haven’t had time. I’m sorry I let it get to this. Come out from under there and talk to me yeah? When you’re ready.”

The lump in the bed stays still for a while, and he can hear Wooyoung try to calm his breathing before he starts shuffling up the bed, pulling the blankets off his face. Seonghwa gasps softy at the sight of what he can make out of Wooyoung’s face in the dark. His hair sits at all angles, his eyes rimmed a deep red and wetness makes his whole face shine ghost-like. As soon as he has released himself from the embrace of his duvet he is throwing himself at Seonghwa, seeking the eldest’s comfort that he knows Seonghwa is more than willing to give. 

He opens his arms readily for the younger boy, repeating their scene from days ago as Wooyoung sobs softly against his stomach, curling up against Seonghwa when the eldest pulls him tighter against his chest. “Take your time Youngie, we have all the time in the world. Just let it all out, and we can talk when you’re ready.” He feels soft nodding against his chest, and rocks the boy gently, as if he was a mother with a distressed baby trying to put it to sleep. It seems to work, as Wooyoung’s shuddering breaths eventually stop and a yawn escapes his throat against Seonghwa’s collarbone, letting out a warm gust of air against the exposed skin.

When the boy finally talks it’s raspy and barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry to worry you again hyung. I’m just a bit overwhelmed with the comeback, so you can go, I promise I’ll be fine,” he says trying to pull back from Seonghwa’s embrace, rubbing hands harshly against bloodshot eyes. Seonghwa holds him still, staring concernedly down at the boy. “Wooyoung-ah, we both know you’re lying, don’t lie to me. You’ve been off ever since what we got up to last week, and you need to tell someone about it. You know you can trust me right, I will never judge you for anything.” Wooyoung’s resolve seems to weaken at that, but he still forces an obviously fake smile onto tight lips. “I’m honestly fine hyung. You’re just imagining things. Go and celebrate with the rest of the group.” Seonghwa finds frustration building up inside of him. 

“Wooyoung stop lying to me, you keep lying! What is this about? You used to tell me everything and now you’re keeping it all to yourself, going as far as to even lie to my face. What can be so bad that you cant even share it with me? Your best friend! Your family!” “I’M NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND HYUNG!” Wooyoung practically screams in his face, shocking Seonghwa into silence. “I’m not your best friend hyung, thats San,” he starts quieter this time, a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks as he lowers his gaze to his lap. “And I am in love with your best friend.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes widen in shock, stunned at what the younger had just revealed to him. How had he not noticed before. And ...what had he done. He had engaged them in sexual relations, getting Wooyoung involved and then unknowingly forcing himself between the two. “Why don’t you tell him?” Wooyoung looks up to make eye contact, a sad look flashing across his expression before a mirthless laugh escapes between his lips. “You honestly don’t remember hyung? I don’t blame you. You were so out of it when he said it, but I heard loud and clear. Hyung, he will never love me, because San loves you. He said it when he was finishing inside of you last week, and I was lying beside the two of you. He will never love me, because your best friend and my unrequited love has fallen in love with you.” 

Seonghwa chokes on his spit at that, vague memories of the moment resurfacing. “Oh, my, god.” Wooyoung gives him a pitying look. “I know it's a lot to deal with, especially since you are already in a relationship with the love of your life ...that is, unless you harbour feelings for San as well?” Seonghwa shakes his head frantically at that. “No, I don’t love San in that way. As a best friend, yes, but not romantically. I am undeniably, completely in love with Mingi.” Wooyoung exhales softly in relief at that, deflating slightly. “You probably need to talk to him about that Hyung, just like I do. I can’t keep doing this. Running off every time he looks at you affectionately, draws you into a hug ...kisses you. It breaks my heart.” 

Seonghwa makes a sad apologetic noise at that confession, drawing the younger into yet another hug, kissing softly at his hair, feeling it's soft texture under his lips. “Well, before we do anything, come and have a shower with me. I will discuss San’s feelings toward me with him later, and then you can choose when you are ready to do the same and reveal your feelings, but for now, come wash up?” Wooyoung leans back, a soft smile on his lips, his expression no longer shut off, and it's the clearest that Seonghwa’s seen him in a long time. His dongsaeng is back, and Seonghwa is here to support him along every step of the way. “Yeah hyung, I’d like that.”

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Later that night, after a long shower where Seonghwa had sang soothing songs to Wooyoung while scrubbing away at his hair with long agile fingers, he climbs into bed, exhausted but with too much on his mind to actually sleep. He had tucked a knackered Wooyoung, who was yawning after every second breath into bed early that night. He had dark bags sitting under his bloodshot eyes, but the boy below him finally looked at peace after getting everything off his chest, and just that thought made Seonghwa smile wide.

There had been a bit of explaining to the group, Seonghwa mainly twisting the truth, telling everyone that the boy had just been stressed and overwhelmed, asking San to sleep in another room in order to give Wooyoung a decent rest. The boy had agreed easily, walking forward to pull Seonghwa into an embrace, who sidestepped quickly and promptly walked away from the awkward situation, leaving a confused and hurt San behind.

He buries his head into the pillows groaning. Why’d he done that and gone and made it awkward with his best friend. San was still just that, his best friend, and Seonghwa honestly wouldn’t trade the relationship he had with the cute little angel for anything. He hoped to god that the conversation he knew he had to have with the boy wouldn't change their relationship in any negative way. He knew some things were going to have to change, but he hoped that they could remain as close as they have always been.

He lies there lost in thought, not noticing that Mingi has entered the room and is making a beeline towards him. When he feels a cold pair of hands being clasped on his shoulders he jumps and hisses in shock at the surprise attack, turning around quickly and lunging at his boyfriend. Mingi lets out a squeak of surprise, trying to frantically crawl away from Seonghwa, but is too slow, the older grabbing hold of him and flipping them so that he straddling Mingi’s waist, holding the younger’s hands above his head. Mingi gasps softly in shock, before he begins bucking his hips wildly, trying to dislodge Seonghwa who holds fast, not losing his grip or position on top of his boyfriend. When Mingi finally gives up they sit there in the same position panting for a wee while, both short of breath from the exertion.

Seonghwa shuffles forward in order to get off his boyfriend and is startled but also pleasantly surprised when his ass comes into contact with something hard, that hard something being Mingi’s cock. “Never thought you’d be one for power play baby,” he growls softly against Mingi’s ear, rubbing his ass back onto his boyfriend’s hard dick, who groans at the contact. “Getting hard when I overpower you, dirty little boy. You like that?” Mingi moans high pitched, and Seonghwa discovers his boyfriend may have something close to a degradation kink. Interesting. Seonghwa’s only heard him like this one time before, and that was when Yunho was fucking him.

A sinister smirk finds its way onto Seonghwa’s face, as an idea begins to formulate in his mind. He slides back further on his boyfriend, testing holding Mingi’s hands up in a single fist and meeting no resistance, reaching the other down to part his boyfriend’s legs apart to slide in between them. When he gets low enough he begins grinding his clothed half hard cock against Mingi’s ass, testing his boundaries with this for the first time. Mingi lets out a startled whine, pushing back against Seonghwa unconsciously, thrusting his aching dick up against Seonghwa’s stomach for friction, already extremely hard. 

Seonghwa watches his boyfriend’s mouth hang open and eyes glaze over, seeing that he's into it and that he may as well just ask the question. Deciding to get it over with, he places a kiss to Mingi’s toned stomach, continuing his ministrations and looking up at his boyfriend’s blissed out face. “Would you like me to fuck you baby? You’d be so good for me, so good around my dick.” Despite the confident words he stills his hips and keeps a close eye on his boyfriend’s expression, gauging his reaction closely.

Mingi sucks in a sharp breath, looking down at Seonghwa with trusting large eyes, a shy smile making its way onto his sweet face. “Yeah, I’d like that Hwa.” Seonghwa grins up at his beautiful boyfriend in appreciation. “Not daddy? Is that right reserved for Yunho?” Seonghwa teases lightly, and to his delight a rare blush makes a prominent appearance on Mingi’s face. The boy below him turns his face to the side, trying to bury it into the pillows in embarrassment, bringing an endeared smile to Seonghwa’s lips. He saves Mingi his embarrassment and begins grinding his hips again, hand still clutching his boyfriend’s wrists above his head, the other coming up to begin unbuttoning Mingi’s shirt. 

The boy below him begins shuffling around in impatience, wanting to get their clothes off, and Seonghwa knowing how much he loves skin to skin contact pulls him up by his wrists, yanking Mingi’s shirt over his head, who eagerly reaches over to return the favour but with his pants and boxers due to Seonghwa being shirtless already. When they are both naked Seonghwa pulls Mingi flush against him for a desperate kiss, before his boyfriend is falling onto his elbows and knees, leaning down to take the head of Seonghwa’s cock into his mouth. It is all frantic and heated, everything happening so fast that they don’t register that other people have entered the room until a throat is cleared and they both raise their eyes to see a clearly startled Hongjoong and Yunho standing in the doorway. 

Their leader wears a surprised but turned on look, averting his eyes as Mingi continues to suck Seonghwa off, obviously unbothered and too turned on to halt his movements. Yunho however, stares unabashedly at the pair, groaning as Mingi drops down on Seonghwa’s cock, as if he is the one being sucked off. Hongjoong clears his throat again, obviously trying to collect himself and give himself time to order his thoughts. “Um, well. Dinners ready. We can save you some for later. We’ll leave you two to it,” he says, grabbing Yunho by his elbow and beginning to drag him back towards the door. 

A moaned, “wait,” stops the two in their tracks, turning their gazes to Seonghwa who has a hand in Mingi’s hair, thrusting into his boyfriend's mouth, blissed eyes fixed on them. “You guys can stay if you want, but Mingi’s mine.” The two turn to look at each other, Yunho shrugging and pulling an excited looking Hongjoong with him towards the bed.

When they sit Seonghwa pulls a whining Mingi off his cock with a hand in his hair, leaning forward to lick a trail of drool off his chin, whispering a “so good baby boy,” into his ear before pulling back from a turned on looking Mingi. Hongjoong and Yunho both stare at him, eyes open wide in shock at the complete 180 Seonghwa had taken since they had last slept with him.

Seemingly humoured by their expressions, he turns a look of expectance down to Mingi, who is lying with his head in his lap. “Aren't you going to thank me for letting you suck my cock? Come on dirty baby boy, you know better than that.” He hears a sucked in gasp beside him at his words, keeping his attention focused on Mingi’s face that turns red in turned on embarrassment. “Thank you so much for your cock d-daddy. So good, want it inside of me n-now please.” 

“Such a good boy,” he praises, grabbing his cock in one hand and a handful of Mingi’s hair in the other, pulling the boy forward to rub his dick teasingly against the seam of the younger’s lips. “So well behaved for me. You want me to fuck you baby? Can you prep yourself while daddy and the others watch?” Mingi whines in embarrassment, but shuffles over to the bedside table, retrieving lube before making himself comfortable on the bed on his back, spreading his legs wide. His large pretty cock sits proudly against his stomach, and Seonghwa can’t help himself, leaning forward to trail open mouthed kisses along the hot length, Hongjoong and Yunho moaning appreciatively at the sight. 

When he feels Mingi’s fingers curl themselves into his hair trying to draw him down on his cock, he leans back, the other boy whining at the loss of contact. “Finger yourself for us baby boy.” Mingi quickly obliges, not even taking time to heat the lube in his hands, squirting a decent amount onto his fingers before eagerly slotting one into his deflowered hole. The boy moans loudly at the sensation, setting the other three men in the room off as well, moans of appreciation making their way past their lips. “Have you been practising since Yunho took you? Preparing yourself to take cock?” Mingi groans, head lolling forward in a curt nod, a finger working frantically at his small hole.

Seonghwa grins at that, leaning forward to blow warm air on the pink opening, the muscle fluttering around the finger it's stretched on at the feeling. “Such a good baby boy.” Mingi inserts another finger at that, stilling momentarily to get used to the stretch, before he begins moving them again. Seonghwa turns away from his boyfriend and begins crawling over to the other two boys on the bed, making a beeline for a turned on looking Hongjoong. Their leader raises an eyebrow at him quizzically, but the expression quickly morphs into one of shocked surprise when he is shoved back onto the bed, Seonghwa climbing on top of him and caging him between his arms. 

He leans down to bite at the boy’s earlobe, sucking it into his mouth and nibbling gently on the body part. He pulls away a small distance, blowing on the abused area, causing a shiver to erupt through their leader. “Hey Joong, I was wondering if you’d be willing to try something out with me?” Their leader raises an eyebrow in question. “I was wondering if you’d let me finger you open so you can try taking Yunho’s big, pretty cock, be such a good boy for him.” 

Hongjoong’s eyes widen at the question, and maybe even Seonghwa’s choice of wording, before flicking over to Yunho, who is also staring at Seonghwa in surprise. “I mean, I could always fuck you after I’m done with Mingi and then Yunho could fuck me,” he offers, gesturing at his dick that lacks the length that Yunho’s has, before turning his eyes to the two boys in front of him.

They’re all surprised when Mingi contributes to the conversation, now three fingers deep in himself, pumping them enthusiastically. “Ngh, I could a-ah, try to take you and Yunho at the same time hyung. You could fuck Joong afterwards.” 

Seonghwa stares at the boy, a little bit lost in thought. “You sure about that baby? Yunho’s big, and I’m not exactly small. It might be a bit much to take your second time.” A bashful expression makes its way onto his boyfriend's face. “I’ve been trying things out with your toys.” Mingi says with a blush making its way onto his cheeks. “I’m sure I could take it.” Seonghwa turns to the two boys who nod in agreement, before crawling off of Hongjoong and over to his boyfriend. “Let me stretch you open first and then we can give that a try.” 

He reaches forward and pulls Mingi’s fingers out of him and toward his mouth, licking the lube off them as he climbs on top of his boyfriend. Mingi lies there panting softly as Seonghwa begins licking and kissing down his neck to his chest, biting his nipples gently before lathing his tongue over the hardened buds. Mingi groans softly at the contact, pushing his chest up into Seonghwa’s mouth, who nurses softly on his boyfriend’s nipples, rolling them around between his thumb and forefinger when his mouth isn't on them.

Mingi begins to grow desperate, thrusting up onto Seonghwa’s stomach, searching for relief and friction that his boyfriend doesn't grant him, pushing Mingi’s hips down and continuing his ministrations on his boyfriend’s nipples. Mingi groans in frustration, trying to pull Seonghwa off his chest by his hair, and gaining a hard slap on the thigh for his effort. Seonghwa bites onto his boyfriend’s nipple harshly, pulling on the nub with his teeth, causing Mingi to moan and shudder, a bead of precome forming at the slit of his dick. 

“Stop defying me baby boy, or else you won’t get what you want. I’ll just fuck pretty little Joong and take Yunho, and you can sit and watch. Do you want that?” Mingi shakes his head whining, looking up at Seonghwa with glassy eyes. “No daddy, I-I don’t. Pl-please fuck me.” Seonghwa gives in to the boy and stands up, gesturing for Mingi to follow. “Stand in front of me, elbows on the bed and ass in the air.” Mingi complies readily, shifting into the slightly uncomfortable position, feeling the muscles in his thighs and calves stretch nicely. Seonghwa slides in behind the taller man, slottling his dick in between Mingi’s ass cheeks and giving a few firm thrusts into the dry, soft crevice, watching Yunho crawl up to Mingi to run his fingers through the slightly smaller boy’s hair. 

“You ready for me now baby?” he asks softly, removing his dick and grabbing it at the base to line it up with Mingi’s hole. The boy below him moans an excited yes, and that's all it takes for Seonghwa to begin to slide into his boyfriend’s waiting hole. The pair of them hiss at the foreign feeling, Seonghwa looking up to fix eyes with Hongjoong, who is now completely naked, sliding a finger into his hole in time with Seonghwa penetrating Mingi.

When he's fully sheathed inside of his beautiful boyfriend he leans down to begin pressing kisses all over his face, grinning down at the boy below him who stares up at him with a euphoric expression in his eyes, lips parted softly in bliss. “Hwa, why haven't we tried this before?” his boyfriend asks with a faraway look in his eyes. Seonghwa drops his head to his boyfriend’s neck, huffing a laugh against his collarbone. “Probably because you thought you were too ‘macho manly’, coughscaredcough to take it up the ass until Yunho decided to give you a thorough dicking.” Mingi swatted at him, although a smile graced his beautiful features, teeth turning the gesture endearing. 

“Why are you so fucking beautiful Song Mingi?” Mingi only has time to begin to come up with a response, before Seonghwa is pulling out to shallowly thrust into him. “Ugh, ngh-Hwa!” Seonghwa repeats the action a couple of times, gaining positive responses from his boyfriend who thrashes around beneath him in pleasure. “So hot baby, so handsome and sexy for me,” he praises, beginning to pick up the speed of his thrusts and enjoying being with his boyfriend this way for the first time.

He works at stretching Mingi out on his cock, thrusting into him hard and causing Mingi to have to grab onto Yunho’s knees to stop himself from being shoved up the bed, thighs shaking from the effort of keeping himself up as Seonghwa continues to piston into him from behind. “So good and tight baby, your ass is so nice and hot for me,” Seonghwa groans into his shoulder. “I’m going to add a finger okay baby? Stretch you out for Yunho’s thick cock. Would you like that?” Mingi moans needily, nodding eagerly and pushing back into Seonghwa’s deep thrusts. Seonghwa reaches a hand out to Hongjoong who is fingering himself watching the scene unfold, handing over the bottle of lube so that Seonghwa can pour some onto his fingers to prep Mingi for taking a second dick up the ass.

Seonghwa squirts a large amount onto his fingers, rubbing it around messily to warm it up, some dripping down his forearm as he continues to thrust into Mingi, the boy below him moaning as he rests his head in Yunho’s lap. When he deems the lube warm enough he slows to a stop, Mingi groaning at the loss of friction but not trying to push back onto Seonghwa’s cock, too tired from the difficult position. Seonghwa brings a finger up beside his swollen cock, rubbing around it gently, prodding where it enters Mingi’s tight hole, having both of them groaning at the sensation.

After a while of prodding and massaging the tight muscle he tests breaching the hole, and manages to begin sliding a finger in beside his dick, groaning as his cock is squeezed tightly against the finger when Mingi tenses up at the added intrusion. He leaves the reassuring to Yunho, who holds Mingi’s head in his hands, caressing his pinched face and whispering praises to the boy who slowly begins to relax. Seonghwa works gently, keeping his hips still but working his finger in and out alongside his erection, soon finding no resistance to the single digit and attempting to add a second. Mingi’s more relaxed this time, so he manages to push the finger in all the way in one slow thrust, his boyfriend’s tight heat engulfing it, and after working it slowly for a while he is able to scissor the two digits beside his dick. 

He continues this slow process until he has four fingers thrusting inside Mingi beside his aching cock which he thrusts shallowly alongside them. He is having to hold his boyfriend up with an arm around his stomach at this point, the boy too out of it to remember to stand and shivering so violently that he probably wouldn't be able to hold himself up anyway, even if he were able to make coherent thoughts. When he deems him ready he slides his fingers and cock out of the boy reluctantly, wiping his lube covered hand onto the bedsheets before he scoops the larger boy into his arms, cuddling him softly and moving to sit on the edge of the bed with the boy cradled against his chest.

“You have been so good for me baby, I am so so proud of you.” Mingi hums at the praise, leaning forward to rest his nose in the crook of Seonghwa’s neck, inhaling his boyfriend’s soft familiar scent. He runs his fingers gently through Mingi’s hair, who seems to be gaining coherency again, pupils undilating, looking like he is waking up from a trance. 

“Do you think you’re ready now baby?” he asks, feeling Yunho come up behind him, draping himself against his back and leaning forward to press a kiss against Mingi’s head gently. “Yeah,” Mingi croaks out his first word in a while, humming softly to warm up his vocal chords before trying again. “Yeah I think I’m ready, just take it slow please.” “Of course we will baby,” he hears Yunho answer against his ear, before he lies back pulling Mingi down on him, chest to chest, Yunho shifting out of their way.

When his back hits the mattress he grabs Mingi by his hips, lifting the boy back to sit easily on his cock, Mingi sinking down effortlessly without a catch. Seonghwa rolls his hips gently a couple of times to accustom his boyfriend to the position, before Yunho lines up behind him, preparing to finally slip in. When Yunho goes to try slide the head of his cock into Mingi’s hole the boy clenches tightly and it takes a lot of massaging and coaxing before the second cock finally breaches his hole, beginning to slowly slip in.

They all moan in unison, Mingi at the fullness, Seonghwa at the tightness, heat and friction the second cock brings, and Yunho at the initial push. When both the cocks are fully sheathed Mingi leans forward, resting his head on Seonghwa’s chest who wipes gently at the sweat collecting at his brow, Yunho leaning forward to kiss gently at the younger’s shoulders. They stay like that for a while unmoving, until Mingi gives them the all clear to begin moving.

Seonghwa lets Yunho be the one who sets the pace, as Mingi has collapsed bonelessly on his chest, restricting him from doing much more than grind his cock in tight circles in his boyfriend’s hole. The boy above them thrusts slowly but deeply into Mingi, pushing Seonghwa’s cock hard against his prostate on every forward jolt of his hips, causing Mingi to writhe and moan between them, his hole fluttering and clenching uselessly around the massive intrusion. Yunho leans forward to capture Seonghwa’s lips in a heated kiss, teeth clashing as he continues to powerfully thrust into the boy below him, dick sliding against their eldest’s as they take the boy between them in tandem.

After the immense build up and intense experience it doesn't even take a hand on his cock for Mingi to reach his orgasm, cumming harder than Seonghwa has ever seen him, and untouched at that, his white semen shooting up Seonghwa’s chest right up to his chin, where Yunho leans forward to lap at it, his hips movements becoming sloppy and untimed.

Mingi clenches excruciatingly tight around the two cocks his hole is accommodating, the muscle massaging and fluttering around the intrusion as the boy rides out his intense orgasm. Yunho’s cock head catches on Seonghwa’s in the tight heat on a long drag, the feeling seemingly bringing the younger over the edge as well as Seonghwa feels the boy’s semen spurt around his cock, painting it as he fills Seonghwa’s boyfriend up with his seed.

Yunho thrusts shallowly a couple more times, riding out his orgasm before he stills, pulling his limp spent cock from Mingi’s loose hole and lifting the boy off of Seonghwa’s dick, cuddling him into his chest. Seonghwa leans forward to press a gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead, whispering a soft “I love you,” before turning to Hongjoong, who sits there fist deep inside of himself, panting as he stares back at Seonghwa. 

“Had a feeling you were a switch Joong,” he comments cheekily, eyeing his leader’s wrist encircled by the tight muscle of his asshole, before crawling over to pull him into a heated kiss. Hongjoong reciprocates easily, biting hard on Seonghwa’s lip to chastise him for the teasing. Seonghwa groans softly at the action, taking hold of their leader’s wrist, thrusting it in and out of the younger while they continue to passionately kiss. They break apart only when they come short of breath, parting slightly to pant into each others mouths, Seonghwa continuing to pull and push their leader’s large fist in and out of him. 

“Always been such an overachiever Joong, above everyone else. Look at you, taking your own fist so easily, stretching yourself out so well on your large hand for me. Getting ready to take my cock, better than anyone else can baby,” he growls against the eldest’s lips. Hongjoong moans softly at that, Seonghwa raising an eyebrow at the high pitch, storing away that knowledge for when he next gets the studio to himself. He could back some tracks with a sound like that, fuck their leader over the mixing desk, recording the unrestrained filthy sounds that leave his plump lips.

He’s brought out of his thoughts when Hongjoong sits back, pulling his large fist, ring laden fingers and all, out of his tiny asshole, Seonghwa practically drooling at the sight. The younger moans lowly as the jewellery catches on the tight ring of muscle, sighing softly when his fist is completely out, and leaning forward to draw Seonghwa into yet another kiss, reaching down to grab the eldest’s cock and line it up to his stretched hole. “I want you to pull my hair while you fuck me hyung. Give it to me hard and fast.” So that's exactly what Seonghwa does, thrusting up sharply when Hongjoong had his tip lined up to his hole, grabbing his dongsaeng’s hair to pull him forward roughly, manhandling him into a comfortable position to fuck the living daylights out of him.

Hongjoong chokes on his breath at the instant reaction, moaning loudly at the pressure of the hand in his hair and the dick thrusting powerfully up from under him. Seonghwa doesnt give him time to recover or regain his composure, shoving their leader back off his dick, slipping out completely before flipping him over and reentering him, fucking him roughly from behind. Hongjoong cries out as Seonghwa grabs at his hair, pulling him back so that his spine cracks in the new position, his back arching inhumanly. “So pretty Joong. Like it when I pull your hair, hmm?” Hongjoong just moans in response, not being able to speak, the position his heads 

being pulled at preventing him from forming words in his throat.

He hears a, “Holy fucking shit your boyfriend’s hot when he tops,” come from across the room, smirking and continuing to thrust animalistically hard into the pliant boy beneath him. He keeps his pace, punching his dick into Hongjoong steadily, who is held in position by a single hand in his hair, skin around the bright red roots turning white at the strain. “Would you like me to touch you Joong? Would you like me to do that? Come all over my hand, you messy boy?” Hongjoong just whines high in his throat, pushing back as well as he can in the position he's in without putting any extra strain on his hair. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

Seonghwa now holds the boy he’s fucking in place with a hand grasped in his hair and the other wrapped firmly around his cock, pumping it in time with his sloppy thrusts. “You’re doing so well for me Joong. Can you come for me?” Hongjoong groans out a soft “yes,” his cock pulsing in Seonghwa’s hand, before he’s releasing his load all over the eldest’s bed sheets. Once he's ridden out his orgasm, Seonghwa pulls out of their leader, laying him on the bed and turning him onto his back, grabbing his own cock and fisting it over his leader’s belly. It only takes him a few harsh strokes before he's shooting white ribbons of cum across his leader’s soft stomach and heaving chest, slumping down beside him and drawing in long gasps of air.

Hongjoong rolls over next to him, drawing him into a sticky hug, Seonghwa scrunching his nose up at the dirty feeling causing the two of them to laugh near hysterically. Mingi and Yunho watch their eldest and leader with fond expressions, Mingi still seated in the older’s lap demanding shoulder rubs because, “Your big dick has made me sore, and I demand compensation!” Yunho sits obliging easily, rubbing soothing circles into the cute boy’s back.

When they've all caught their breath and calmed down, and each boy can feel some kind of fluid cooling and drying on their skin uncomfortably, they decide to head to the showers, Seonghwa and Mingi offering for Yunho and Hongjoong to use the shower first. The couple lie in each others embrace once the others have left, Seonghwa running his fingers through Mingi’s hair, while the younger sighs in content. “I love you so much baby, thank you for trusting me with your body like that today. You are so beautiful, so incomprehensibly stunning, both inside and out. I am so lucky to have you in my life baby boy, so so lucky.” Mingi hides a soft smile into his chest, and Seonghwa can feel the smile pressed against his skin.

“But you’ve got it all wrong Hwa, I’m the lucky one to have you. So strong and admired by everyone. Everyone loves you for that, I love you for that.” Seonghwa brings his hands to his boyfriend’s cheeks, drawing him in for a long soft kiss, only feelings and no sexul desire behind it, only love. This was something that only they could share.

“Hey baby, I’m not sure if this is the right time but I’ve been thinking,” Seonghwa starts, cautiously asking the subject that’s been sitting in the back of his mind all week. “It wouldn’t be very different to what we’ve been experimenting with recently, but I was wondering if you’d like to try an open relationship, you and me of course staying exclusive, but meaning that we can sleep with the other boys.”

“I think that these last couple of experiences have brought a lot of variety and testing into our personal relationship, as well as benefiting the boys. Everyone has been a lot less stressed after our first test at this, and I think this could be a positive step for everyone, including us. Be honest and tell me if I’ve been reading this situation wrong, or even if you don’t want this group thing to continue, I am completely satisfied with you and I love you so much. I’m just laying my thoughts out for you to think about.”

Mingi’s brow furrows in thought, hugging Seonghwa closer as he seems to mull over the idea presented to him. “I’m definitely not opposed to the idea, and it’s pretty much a yes on my part, but just to get this straight ...it's not like we’ll be dating the other guys or anything, just sleeping with them.” “Yeah exactly that,” Seonghwa nods in confirmation. “Just sleeping with them. You and I will be completely exclusive, but we get to enjoy a bit of variation in our sex life.” 

Mingi seems satisfied by this, lifting his head from his boyfriend’s chest to grin at him. “Sounds like a plan, count me in,” he says enthusiastically. Seonghwa smiles down at the cute boy lying on top of him in his seated position. “Alrighty, now let’s go get you washed up.” “Only if you carry me.” Seonghwa rolls his eyes at the demand but nods anyway, not being able to resist his heffalump of a boyfriend. “Okay.”

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Once again, Seonghwa gets caught up in their schedule. The day after their comeback brings a large stage in front of their enthusiastic fans and fan signs where he gets to greet the amazing individuals that have brought him to where he is today. Into his position as an idol, as he couldn’t and wouldn’t be where he is now if he didn’t have his fans.

The first couple of days after their comeback are exhausting, members collapsing backstage after large performance followed by large performance, followed by public appearance after public appearance. It’s a lot, bordering on too much, but the members are used to it, knowing that a relaxing period will come soon after and pushing forward. They come home late at night, night after night, collapsing on their beds before even showering, passing out instantly. But not Seonghwa. He has too much on his mind tonight. 

He has spent the last couple of days trying to get San alone, but with no luck, following the boy around like a lost puppy and waiting for a moment to present itself, but none did. He is currently sneaking through a dorm of sleeping boys and toward San and Wooyoung’s shared dorm room, hoping that the other would be awake so that he could finally talk to him, get everything off his chest and let the boy down lightly. He knew that San wouldn’t be expecting what was coming for him, and Seonghwa felt extremely sad for what he was going to have to break to his best friend ...for now at least.

When he reaches their door there is no light seeping out from the crack at the floor, but he decides to open the door quietly anyway, on the off chance that his friend is still awake, praying that if he is that Wooyoung will be asleep, making this a lot easier for him. When he nudges the door open enough to stick his head in he is greeted by a pair of blinking eyes staring at him from behind a phone screen. 

Upon realising that it is him San’s face lights up, breaking out into a tired but excited smile, Seonghwa’s heart breaking slightly at the sight. He quickly glances over to Wooyoung’s bed, sighing in relief when he appears to be asleep, holding a finger up to his lips and gesturing for San to follow him out of his room, which he does eagerly, dressed in an oversized pink hoodie (probably one of Seonghwa’s that he stole ages ago) and boxers as pyjamas.

Seonghwa leads San away from the rooms and towards the living room, where he shuts them in quietly, moving over to the couch and patting the space beside him. San bounds over, plopping down next to Seonghwa on a cushion and turning to look expectantly at his best friend. “What did you get me out of bed at this time of night for Star?” he questions, yawning widely into his sweater paws, black and red streaked hair falling into his eyes cutely. “If it’s midnight video games you want, count me in!” he says, bouncing on the couch enthusiastically. 

When this doesn't draw the normal laugh, or even a smile from Seonghwa, San sobers quickly, a look of concern crossing his face. “Are you okay Star? You’re being weirdly quiet. Is something wrong?” Seonghwa looks up at the boy who's been his best friend for years now. The boy who’s baked him cakes on his birthdays, comforted him when he's had bad days, and just always been there for him. What if this were to ruin that? His eyes grow glassy at the thought, and San leans forward to wipe away the building threat of tears, Seonghwa flinching back because he doesn't deserve the comfort with what he is about to do to the boy in front of him. His best friend. 

“San, I only remembered a couple of days ago what you said to me when we slept together,” he says, deciding to get straight to the point, not wanting to drag this out and hurt San any more than he has to. San’s eyes widen as he processes what Seonghwa is saying. “That you l-love me,” he chokes out. “Is it true?” San stares at him for a while, expression turning conflicted instantly as he seems to process and decide what he’s going to say next.

“Yeah, it’s true. I’ve loved you for years now Star. It was probably a really bad time to say it, and I'm sorry for having thrown it on you so suddenly, but I was just so overwhelmed with emotions. What I had always dreamed of was happening,” San says with a small smile, a faraway happy look in his eyes. Seonghwa’s heart shatters, a tear slipping down his cheek. 

San pales at the sight, expression closing off slightly as he sees Seonghwa stare at him with a broken expression on his face, a single tear track marring the skin on his cheek. “I’m so sorry Sannie,” he whispers brokenly, gaze dropping to his shaking hands so that he doesn't have to watch the boy in front of him break. “I’m so sorry I can't return your feelings like that, I really do love you, but as a best friend. I wish I could feel more, but that place in my heart is reserved for Mingi,” he says, a few extra tears escaping from the corners of his eyes, falling down into his palms. 

When he looks up San is staring at him, but almost seems to be looking past him ...through him. Rivers of tears stream down the boy’s face, trailing down his neck and soaking into the collar of his hoodie. He watches the boy in front of him shatter, not having the right to lean forward and hold him, put together the pieces for him as he had in the past. For now at least he had lost that right with San. 

The boy crumbling in front of him lets out a deafening heart wrenching sob, his body convulsing as a wave of grief washes over him, the tide pulling him further and further under, further away from Seonghwa. He watches the boy stumble to his feet, grab the wall in order to steady himself before he flees the room with a “I need to be alone.” Seonghwa is left sitting there, feeling like absolute shit, not seeing or hearing, just sitting until light streams into the room and the boys begin to emerge from their beds. 

Times still moving, but he's frozen, frozen in the moment where San shattered before his eyes. He couldn’t reach out and help the boy, couldn’t do anything, because he was the one who had caused that pain. He had been the one who broke his best friend.

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The boys stop asking after a few days of receiving no response from either San or Seonghwa, Wooyoung watching the pair pityingly, having caught on to what has happened. San spent the first couple of days in his room, claiming he felt nauseous, and it probably wasn't even a lie. He was excused with this explanation from fan signing events and stages, missing out on the busiest part of their new comeback. On the third day he was dragged from bed looking like a wreck and avoiding Seonghwa like the plague, as if even so much as breathing in his direction would be an acknowledgement of his presence and the gaping hole in his heart. 

San’s current condition was written off as him being sick by the other members, as the boy even tried forcing smiles for their benefit, his face falling when their backs were turned. Seonghwa however hadn't been so lucky, as for the following days after he had been found sitting on the living room couch curled in on himself, distant and incoherent, the members had not left him alone.

He couldn’t bring himself to be as brave as San, forcing a fake smile in their presence, or at least pretending to pay attention to conversations happening around him, instead he was snapping harshly, words laced with venom being thrown at his members who were only concerned for his well being, and zoning out constantly, lost in a self hating world of his own.

When San came back to the group after his ‘sickness’, it became clear to the friends that the boys problems lay with each other. The two would sit at opposite ends of the room, unengaging in the conversation at hand, staring out a window or distracting themselves with phones when being stuck in their thoughts became too much. Everyone watched on worriedly, not quite sure of what to do with the situation at hand, unknowing of how to deal with it. They collectively decided that they would leave it to the best friends to sort it out, let them work out their own problems, hoping that it wouldn't take too much time and that it wouldn’t bring their group down with them. 

Their performances stay up to scratch, and in front of the public eye, although the two are still avoiding each other, they are able to put on convincing acts, not ones convincing enough to fool their friends, but enough to put the fans off their scents in the meantime, the two remaining professional despite their personal problems. 

The fans seemed to love the twos ‘new looks’, as Seonghwa and San’s eyebags had soon become uncoverable by even the strongest concealer, the makeup artists making a last ditch effort to make the darkness look intended, drawing dark liner around their eyes and adding dramatic shadow, giving the boys dangerous looks to hide the fact that they were tired and breaking down behind their facades. 

They weren’t the dangerous ones themselves, but the ones in danger of breaking, already thin, tiny Seonghwa unable to force food past his lips as he’d lost his appetite, body eating away at the little bit of fat left on himself, leaving him skin and bones that he hides under baggy clothing. San is the opposite, turning to the gym to deal with his problems, working on his body religiously to give him escape from what is going on inside of his head, but most importantly his heart.

Everyone sits experiencing their own type of pain, watching the two boys, two important people in their family fall apart as they are shut out, hoping that things will turn better soon.

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It isn't until two weeks later that somebody loses their shit, and that somebody is Mingi. They are sitting around the living room, San and Seonghwa having been forced to join the group movie night, as they have an evening off their idol duties for the first time in a while. They sit on the sofas situated around the TV, a film playing that they had all decided on thirty minutes ago, but Seonghwa can't even recall a single scene. He hasn't been paying attention, eyes flicking worriedly over to the boy that haunted him in his dreams that would be more rightfully classed as nightmares, that was curled up next to Wooyoung on the couch across from him. At least the two had seemingly talked things out, and something good had come out of this shitty situation.

Seonghwa just really missed his best friend. He had cried by himself the last few weeks, something he had not experienced since before he had met his best friend. And that had been a long time, they had been friends for a long time, he hadn't had to cry by himself for a long time and he had gone and ruined it. San couldn’t even look at him now, and he couldn’t look at himself. He had broken the heart of his best friend, the man who had trusted him and loved him unconditionally, staying by his side even when he felt more than what he was supposed to toward a friend. 

Seonghwa wishes he hadn't done it, hadn't told him that he knew and that he didn't return his feelings, love him back. He knew it was selfish, and that it would have been cruel to keep his best friend hoping for his own sake and happiness, but the thought was still there. He just wished he still had the boy by his side, craved it, needed it. 

He began to feel the sick feeling build up in his stomach, climbing it's way up his throat. This too had become familiar over the last few weeks along with the ache in his heart from losing a best friend. He leaps quickly to his feet, about to excuse himself and make a sprint for the bathroom, when an irritated yell stops him in his tracks.

Mingi had officially lost it, having finally had enough, turning the light on and blocking the door, his only escape to get to where he needed to be right now. His boyfriend stood with his arms crossed glaring at him. “Stop Hwa! Don’t ruin this for us, we’re just trying to enjoy a nice movie night. Sit your ass back down on the couch and stop running away! We know you don’t overly want to be here and that not everything is fine and dandy, but can you at least sit down and pretend to watch the movie with us. You two seriously need to sort your shit ou-.” And Seonghwa cuts his boyfriend off mid sentence by clawing at his throat as bile and the lunch that he had been forced to eat came up all over the carpet. So much for hiding it. He thought he'd been doing a pretty good job at keeping this meal down today. He guesses not.

He hears gasps of shock come from around the group, and a choked sound coming from Mingi, perhaps a sob. “So this is how you’ve been dealing with things Hwa? I’m deeply hurt that you couldn't even come to your own boyfriend before resorting to ...this.” Seonghwa looks up, sees San staring at him with wide eyes, as if properly seeing him for the first time in a while with his brows creased as if he is disgusted with what he has laid eyes upon. Seonghwa flees the room, shoving past his boyfriend who doesn't follow him, pulling on a jacket with his phone and keys in it, hightailing it out of the building even as he hears their youngest come to the door after him, yelling his name which falls on deaf ears.

He leaves, because no one seems to really want him there and he doesn't want to be there himself, needing to clear his head. That's what he needs, clarity, something he hadn't felt in nearly a month now, something he needs in order to begin functioning like a normal human being again. Clarity. So that's why he runs away. He needs to sort himself out.

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He spends the night in a nice hotel of sorts a few blocks from their dorm, taking a relaxing long bath and deciding to spend time on himself for the first time in a long while, pouring oils and salts into the steaming water and massaging what is left of his sore aching muscles. He doesn't like looking down at himself, because something unlike his usual lithe muscled body lies in that bath, and it most certainly did not look like him. He knows what he has been doing to himself for the last few weeks and he knows it isn't healthy, but he hasn't been able to control it. Just the thought of how he had upset and hurt his best friend made him feel sick to the stomach. 

He groans in embarrassment, remembering the massive mess on the floor, and he knows it's going to be Jongho cleaning it up, seeing as he was the only member that didn't get queasy around vomit. When this was cleared up he'd have to apologise to his dongsaeng for the inconvenience. He’d probably ruined their movie night after that exit. His heart aches as he remembers the begging tone of his boyfriend’s voice and the disappointment clear on his features.

He shakes his head, expelling the pondering memories and sinking further into the bath, finally letting himself relax free of thoughts and giving his body some respite after a long time. He ends up relaxing in the cooling water for hours, releasing the cold lot of water from the tub, full of shampoo and soap suds and topping it up with warm clean water to soak in.

When he finally forces himself out of the tub his eyes are drooping with tiredness, and each of his fingers and toes are shrivelled up like prunes from the long water exposure. He wobbles sleepily over to the towel rack across from the bath and pulls a royal blue towel from it to pat himself dry. He works his way over his body and towards his hair, yawning heartily every once in a while, dying to get into bed and to simply sleep. His arms feel heavy as he rubs at his hair, so he gives up at fully drying it pretty quickly and instead decides the best idea is to head straight to bed.

He slides the bathroom door open, making a beeline for the king size, heavenly looking mattress in front of him, dropping the towel on the way so that he flops down stark naked on the crisp clean sheets. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the soft relaxing scent of washing detergent mixed with baby powder, and finds the last tense muscles left after his bath relax in tandem. He doesn't even bother climbing under the sheets, too emotionally and physically exhausted, and extremely comfortable in his current position. 

As he’s nuzzling his cheek into the bedding to find a comfortable position to rest his head, his phone goes off violently, startling him out of his dozy state into alertness. He sighs realising that when he plugged in his dead phone when he’d entered the hotel, that he’d forgotten to turn it off. Groaning, he heaves himself towards the bedside table, and picks up the phone just as it goes to answer-phone with a recording of his cherry voice telling the caller to leave a message. 

The caller hangs up before the message recording starts, and he then gets a decent look at his notifications. 37 missed calls and 53 unread messages. Great. Knowing that the boys wouldn't sleep even with their busy schedule coming up tomorrow if they didnt know he was safe he begrudgingly opens the group chat, sending a quick ‘I’m staying out for the night and I’ve got a safe place to stay, so don’t worry about me and get some rest’.

He exits the members group chat, reaching to turn the phone off as it starts vibrating frantically. Without checking the replies he turns off the phone, placing it back on the bedside table and flopping back onto the bed. This time he decides to pull the blankets over himself, grabbing the other pillow and hugging it to his chest for comfort. He realises just how alone he is here, the silence deafening as it seems to ring tauntingly in his ears. He grabs at the blankets, drawing them over his head to block out nothing, his eyelids collapsing quickly as he finds a restful sleep take a hold of him. The first restful sleep that he’s experienced in weeks.

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The following morning he sits in the hotel room, bright and feeling alive with close to twelve hours of sleep under his belt. Although he slept for a long time, he is still up two hours earlier than the group’s first scheduled activity of the day. After noticing a demanding grumble erupt from his tummy, he walks over to the small minibar attached to the built in kitchen to the side of his room. He pulls the door of it open to reveal a variety of fruit, snack foods and drinks. 

He pulls out a granola bar and an apple, not really caring that they’ll probably be horrendously overpriced. He rips the small sticker off of the apple and sticks it on the back of his hand, because he can't seem to locate the bin, before washing it under a tap and biting through the tough skin. He chews thoughtfully on the crunchy fruit, finding it difficult to swallow at first as it seems to catch in his throat, but he forces it down, and the process soon becomes easier. His stomach thanks him as well, as he feels the numb pangs of hunger slowly wear away, leaving him feeling slightly lighter in body.

When he's munched through the fruit with little difficulty he moves onto the muesli bar, picking up his phone to turn it on and check the destination of the radio show that he had to be at in a couple of hours. As he clicks his emails and scrolls to find the one with the information (he got texted it by his manager as well, but he's not keen on checking his texts from him just yet), he takes a large bite of the bar. All he can feel as he barrels towards the bathroom is instant regret, as the first food he had managed to keep down in a while comes up in the white bowl clutched in his clammy shaking hands.

Once he's recovered, he gets up from knees that are sore from diving onto them on tiles, to wash the taste of bile from his mouth, brushing his teeth twice to assure that the nasty flavour is gone. He walks back into the bedroom, finding his phone on the floor next to the granola bar. He kicks the latter into the corner grumpily and picks his phone up in shaky hands, checking the screen protector for any new cracks. Once he deems it still okay after scrutinising the black surface he turns it back on and screenshots the address. He knows that his manager will be pissed off that he wasn't there that morning for a run through of the kind of questions that they'd be asked by the host on the radio show and the appropriate answers to reply with, but he knew that he'd be safe winging it.

He sighs, walking to the windows to pull back the sliding doors and walk on the balcony, breathing in the fresh air. The ambient sound of traffic and everyday people going about their everyday lives calms him slightly, and he finds himself relaxing forward on the rail and just listening. Knowing that he wasn't the only one in this world, the only one having struggles, having fucked up something good is somewhat twistedly soothing. 

He knows that pulling all of the members into the situation how he did wasn't a good idea, and that bad idea of his was faced with consequences. After today he knew he was going to have to grow up and face those consequences. He’s lost a best friend, and he has other amazing people that he has to man up and apologize to.

Mingi’s face pops into his head and he smiles sadly at the thought. His boyfriend didn't deserve the shit that Seonghwa has been putting him through, just because he has some of his own personal shit going on. Seonghwa didn't deserve Mingi. An amazing, trustworthy, strong, loving, supportive and down-to-earth boyfriend, the man who he believed to be his soulmate, and whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. His boyfriend was definitely who he owed his first and most sincere apology to.

A loud commotion stories below catches his attention, ripping him from his thoughts. He ends up leaning dangerously far over the rail to get a good look at what is unfolding below him, and what he sees catches him by surprise. A woman is gripping a pole on the side of the street, by the looks of it gasping and groaning as her legs shake precariously beneath her plump body. He sees other civilians rushing to her aid, grabbing at her arms to support her. It isn't until he hears a loud bellow of “I don't have my phone on me. Somebody call the emergency services and request an ambulance, and tell them to get here as soon as possible! This woman’s in labour!”, that he understands what's going on. 

After the large announcement he sees people pull out their phones to help out, while others lower the woman to the ground and push jackets and other things towards her to help get her comfortable for the wait. It isn't long until he hears sirens blaring in the near distance, and by now the woman is groaning loudly in obvious discomfort, with quite the crowd standing around her, ready to be of any assistance required. 

The man who called for somebody to make the emergency call has obviously adopted the role of leader in this situation, the way he herds the citizens out of the way of the emergency vehicle, and how he informs one of the ambulance staff of the situation and the woman's condition reminds him of Hongjoong, bringing a small, sad smile to his lips. A true leader, that everyone respects and can’t help but trust and follow. 

The woman is safely loaded into the vehicle, and the crowd that had gathered quickly dissipates, but the thought remains. How everyone had come together in the time of need of someone else, a complete stranger, to support her. The scene had made him feel a sense of happiness, an emotion he hadn't felt in a long while now. It feels really, really good.

By the time he is leaving the apartment complex after paying and returning the keys, he has half an hour to make it to the address. He hails a cab and climbs into the back seat, preparing for a fifteen minute journey.

Along the way they hit no traffic and the friendly driver chats away to him, distracting him from the nerves coiling in his stomach at the thought of seeing the members after the mess he'd been (and made) around them the previous night. He knew that he wouldn't be able to talk to them properly until afterwards, and that his manager would likely give him a hiding,but that made the situation almost even worse.

The idea of having to sit in their company and talk and interact during the radio show while they aren't on good terms makes him feel squeamish and forced. He hopes that ATINY don’t pick up on him being off at all, or their forced interactions. 

When they pull up after what feels like mere seconds of travel, Seonghwa pays and tips the kind driver with anxiously shaking hands. When he steps from the car he stands rooted on the pavement outside the address for a solid 30 seconds, feeling as if he is mentally preparing to perform for the first time over again. The nerves are the same, but the reason for them couldn't be any more different. 

When he finally puts a foot forward to walk toward the entrance of the studio, the door flies open and a frantic looking manager, his to be exact, bursts out, scanning the pavement until his eyes land directly on Seonghwa. He sees the older man’s shoulders relax as he sighs in relief. “Hurry in Seonghwa, we only have 15 minutes to get your makeup, hair and outfit done! Next time, please contact me when you leave the dorm. You don't have to tell me where you're staying, as long as I know you’ll be on time to all of your scheduled activities. Well, at least you're here now. Hurry inside to the makeup noonas, quick!”

The man bustles Seonghwa past him and down a long narrow hall into a private side room where he is dressed into informal but presentable attire and made up in no time. They did a surprisingly good job of making him look nice and natural in 10 minutes, and he bows repetitively and quickly in thanks as he hurries out of the door and toward the radio room with his manager in tow. 

They make it in with a few minutes until live recording, bursting into the room and drawing everyone's attention towards him. The members all stare at him with wide eyes, but slightly mixed expressions. He quickly averts his eyes from theirs to the ground and drops into a deep 90 degree bow, making an apology to the radio show hosts, before he promptly takes the one empty seat at the round table that just happens to be between San and Mingi. Great. 

He leans forward to adjust the small mic in front of him, busying himself to avoid making any more eye contact or having to be pulled into any form of conversation until they go on air. 

He can feel every member’s eyes glued on him, but forced conversation begins to start up again around the table, showing that none are going to make an attempt to single him out or try to talk to him. At least for now.

When they have 30 seconds left until recording, all of the members straighten up, shaking out their limbs to relax and fix large smiles on their faces, readying themselves for the next half hour engagement in the studio. 

The camera crew begin a ten second countdown and then they’re on air. They start by going around the table and introducing themselves in an upbeat manner. When it reaches his turn to introduce himself he gives a short bow where he sits and introduces himself as the group’s oldest member and vocalist, to which the hosts gasp and exclaim that he looks a lot younger than his age. He accepts the compliment with big smiles and a thanks and they move onto the next member.

This continues until they’ve gotten around every member and the radio hosts are satisfied with the answers that they’ve received, and the group get up and walk to the small stage to the side of the table preparing to perform the title song of their latest album. 

The dance performance goes smoothly, and the group don’t have to sing, so they step the energy in the dance up a notch, going all out with large movements and over expressive facial expressions.

Seonghwa focuses closely on making his movements sharp, to hit every step on beat and give his best performance, and he finds a small smile on his face as he sees his other members do the same. They always dance with enthusiasm and effort, not letting their personal life get mixed up with their professional.

When the dance comes to a close, the radio hosts clap appreciatively, giving their words of approval to the performance’s choreography and the lyrics of the song. The group all take their places back in their seats, taking sips of water from glasses provided, as the radio hosts talk to the viewers about the performance. The group take the chance to make themselves comfortable again, dabbing the sweat off of their faces and necks with towels provided by their staff and getting hair and makeup touch ups.

Seonghwa chances a brief look to his side and sees San take a large mouthful of water before backwashing half of it back into the glass, a peculiar and slightly disgusting habit of his. Seonghwa quickly turns his attention back to the mic in front of him, hoping the other hadn’t caught him looking, and waits until they’re back to being interviewed again.

The female host gives them the signal and they’re back into the interview again, Hongjoong talking passionately about the inspiration for the song, and how each individual member had strengthened their vocal range to make the song more powerful and expressive. Other members add to the conversation, talking about their journey during this comeback and what it meant to them. Seonghwa listens intently to the members replies, and hears the sincerity behind them, finding himself get more comfortable in the environment with the more time that goes by.

The conversation is soon changed to another topic, and the male host singles Seonghwa out first. “Your fans, the ATINY, have asked questions for us to relay onto you, and the first one is for you Seonghwa!” Seonghwa perks up at the mention of his name and just hopes that the question isn't anything weird. “What is your favourite song of your group’s to perform and why?” That was a good one that he could answer easily. “Definitely our debut song Pirate King! It was what set us out on our journey to become idols, and it’s therefore an extremely special song to me personally. I think it greatly expresses the journey it had taken us to become trainees and reach our goal to debut, and the uncertain journey this career would lead us on into the future. I am very grateful to ATINY for supporting and helping u, to continue on this journey. The song definitely shows our determination through the lyrics and the dance, and we all put all of our effort into it, so it's great fun to perform as a group and reminds me of our beginning, and shows us how far we've come.” 

The hosts seem very pleased with his answer, the female replying “Waah, your fans are very lucky to have such dedicated and fan-orientated idols!” Seonghwa smiles and shakes his head at that. “No, we’re the lucky ones to have such an amazing fanbase, I love you ATINY!” he says, receiving words of agreement from the other members.

The rest of the interview continues without a hitch, Seonghwa putting in the odd word and not really having to interact with the other members which suited him quite fine for now. They wave at the cameras unanimously and say a final goodbye, and it finally comes to a close. They say a final thank you and goodbye to the hosts, before they are ushered out of the studio and into the van to head back to the dorms, seeing as they had nothing more scheduled for the da, and the manager was finally giving them some time to themselves to relax.

Seonghwa holds back and climbs into the van last, relaxing into the final free seat beside their manager in front of the other boys, who sit in a three and two twos behind him. Their driver who is one of their camera crew comes back from a toilet break and slams the van door to make sure it's closed properly, before climbing into the driver's seat and starting the van. Besides Yeosang and Jongho quietly giggling between themselves in the double seat behind him, the only other sound in the van is the soft hum of something classical being played on the radio by their driver. Seonghwa chances a glance up at the rearview mirror of the van, not really knowing what he was hoping to see, but when he locks eyes with San he doesn't really know how to feel. He is the first to look away to break the eye contact, feeling his stomach twist unhappily.

The ride continues in mostly silence, the odd cleared throat or sneeze from a tired and run down member. He feels bad knowing they likely didn’t sleep well last night because of him, while he relaxed and slept like a baby. He doesn't want to accidentally glance in the mirror, so ends up closing his eyes and pretend to sleep even though he's fully awake. Usually he would be travelling next to Mingi and would be able to rest his head on his tall boyfriend’s shoulder, but with his manager sitting next to him, he is forced to keep it straight. He really missed his boyfriend, and knew he had to apologize and talk to him as soon as he got home. 

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When the van pulls up outside their residence their manager gives them a few words of praise for their performance at the radio show before he lets them go inside to relax. As they climb out of the van Seonghwa steels himself, standing beside the vehicle to wait for his boyfriend to exit. When the tall male steps out Seonghwa takes a step towards him, but the other turns away and begins walking down the street, calling behind himself “I’m going to get some exercise alone, I’ll be back later Hongjoong.” The emphasis the other put on ‘alone’ makes Seonghwa shrink in on himself. 

He knew he deserved it from the younger male, but the words make tears jump to the corners of his eyes. He pulls the hood of his jersey down over his face and rushes into the dorm and towards his and Mingi’s room, power walking past the other boys, trying to keep his body language relaxed so as not to draw attention to himself. When he reaches the door of his room he grabs the handle and heaves it open, shutting it with a thud and throwing himself onto his and Mingi’s bed, taking the younger’s pillow and burying his face in it while hot tears bleed from between squeezed eyes. 

Small full body shudders erupt from his shoulders down to his torso, shaking the bed as he releases his pent up emotions. His head is flooded with thoughts of his boyfriend and his best friend, and how he may no longer hold the right to calling them by those titles anymore. They may just go back to being Mingi and San, and he may go back to being simply Seonghwa, not Star or Baby. The thought alone makes fresh tears erupt into the pillow, the pillow that held the musky but sweet smell of his beautiful boyfriend.

Through his sobs he doesn't hear the door opening, nor the soft padding footsteps coming toward the bed. It isn't until a hand is laid on his shoulder, and he is so surprised by the contact that he violently flinches away from it. He quickly sits up and tries to still his breathing, rubbing at his eyes in a way that feels subtle with his sweater paws. It isn't until he finally looks up that his harsh breathing stills, his heart seeming to catch in his throat. Staring back into his puffy red eyes is an owl eyed San, staring at him with the most emotion Seonghwa has seen on his face in months. This is actually the longest he's stared at San’s face in months.

After a hiccup erupts from his throat, he realises what a state he must be in and covers his face in embarrassment, shuffling around on the bed to move away and put a suitable distance between the two of them. San seems to take it as an invitation to move further forward to sit on the bed, situating himself in front of Seonghwa, still without a word. Seonghwa keeps his eyes fixed on the bed spread, following the wee patterns printed on the thin duvet, not wanting to look up and not wanting to talk first from fear of rejection.

When he hears the first words spoken from San’s lips, a few more tear drops slip past his control and patter onto his knees. “I’m sorry Star.” The words alone seem to bring him back to his senses, and he draws a shuddering breath to finally apologise to the man in front of him, because, why is San apologizing? “You don’t have to be sorry, I do. I rejected you, did things on my own terms and hurt my best friend. I’ve just been so scared that I’ve lost you.” Part way through his sentence he lifts his head to make eye contact with his best friend who has a shine to his eye and is shaking his head slowly. 

“No Star, I’m sorry for leaving you thinking that. I just needed time to get over all of the thoughts swimming around in my head, and realise that you are in love and already have a boyfriend, and that I value our friendship over anything else, even romantic feelings. I stupidly let my feelings get in the way of my most prized and special relationship, the friendship I have with you, and I hope you can realise just how sorry I am. YOU, did nothing wrong, it is ME who needs to be and is sorry. I am sorry I distanced myself from you, that I had to think about it for so long, and that I let you harm your health. I didn’t realise just how serious it's gotten until last night. I am so, so sorry Star.” By this time the both of them are bawling, and San crawls over to pull a puffy faced Seonghwa into his lap, stroking the other’s hair and whispering soft words to the older.

The two sit like that for ages, until they stop crying, their breathing calms down, and they are both melted into each others sides, making up for the missed contact of the last month.They whisper between themselves in each others arms, catching up after what feels like years for the best friends, used to being constantly in each others company. Seonghwa decides to ask the question that's been sitting at the forefront of his mind for a while now. “So, what's happened between you and Wooyoung?” At this a small smile works it's way onto San’s face, a tell tale sign that his best friend had some exciting news to share with him.

“Wooyoung came and confessed his feelings to me a week after we fell out. He said he wasn't going to pressure me into a relationship but that he just wanted me to know after he’d seen what had happened to us after waiting, and how me concealing my feelings for so long hasn't really worked out. I thought about it for a while and then decided that I’d actually quite like to try something there. I find him very attractive and have always felt very emotionally connected to him, so I said that I'd like to try dating him, and now I am.” The goofy grin on his friend’s face makes a wide one stretch Seonghwa’s face in return. “I am so happy for you Sannie! I really hope that great things come of that. You two make a beautiful match!”

San thanks him with large smiles and a childish excitement in his eye, and Seonghwa knows he’s genuine.

They talk for another while until Seonghwa decides it's about time that he apologises to his band members for burdening them with his sadness and giving them a hard time with his attitude. San wishes him luck and sends him out onto the battlefield alone. Seonghwa, feeling as though he’s unarmed and unprotected warily approaches the other band members, realising Mingi isn't there yet. He's actually pretty glad about that, seeing as he wants to make their conversation and his apology to his boyfriend one on one and very personal. But for now he approaches his band members in the lounge who are all sitting around and watching a movie, probably not wanting to interrupt him and San, making sure they are giving them substantial space to talk it out.

As he looks around each of the boys faces, who feel eyes on them and turn to meet his gaze, he realises just how lucky he is to have such kind, caring and supportive brothers. Brothers that are ready to make sacrifices for his happiness. Their leader stares at him with a proud smile on his face, already knowing what's coming, and Seonghwa finds it gives him confidence. Hongjoong always tends to do that to people, one approving look alone from him can make anyone glow for a week.

He decides to address them all at once, dropping into a deep bow and staying at a ninety degree angle as he proceeds to apologise to them all. “I am so sorry for my behavior in the last month and for the way I have been treating all of you , letting my personal problems and conflicts put stress on our relationships, which you didn’t deserve. For that I am very sorry, I hope you will forgive me.” And after a quick pause he adds, “And I am so sorry about the mess I made yesterday, and assuming that it was you Jongho who cleaned it up, I owe you one.” The youngest gives him a small nod accompanied by a genuine toothy smile.

It’s Hongjoong that steps up to answering the apology first, the proud smile still plastered firmly on his face. “Thank you for your apology. We understand that you’ve been going through a rough patch recently with San, and I as your leader need to apologise to you as well. I stood by and watched, not getting involved soon enough and I, along with everyone else realised last night the extent of the toll it has taken on you. I forgive you and hope you can forgive me, not as your leader, but as a friend.” 

Seonghwa stops himself from tearing up again, figuring he had already cried enough that day and already looks enough of a mess, instead choosing to pull his emotional friends into a hug. The other members all come over and join the embrace, Wooyoung giving him a secretive look that Seonghwa laughs softly at, knowing that Wooyoung has figured that San had told him. They break away from the embrace eventually, smiles bright on faces, and he knows that everything is going to be okay between him and his band members. 

His largest concern lies with his boyfriend now. It’s hard to think of a way to approach the other and apologise after he’d distanced himself from the other man for the last month. That's one of his largest regrets that has come out of this situation. He knows he has a lot of apologising to do to the younger, but he's prepared to do anything to get his boyfriend back. He wonders when he’ll be getting back from that long walk.

He’s brought back out of his thoughts by a large hand being rested on his shoulder. He raises his gaze to Yunho’s, concerned eyes meeting his. “And Seonghwa, you have to promise us if you still can't keep food down after the air is all cleared, that you will seek help. I’ll even attend counselling with you or help you seek professional help if it is what is required to get you back to your normal self and eating again.” Seonghwa nods his head and while maintaining eye contact says with conviction, “I promise I will.”

After their conversation he heads to his and Mingi’s room, plopping down on the bed and grabbing his phone to play mindless games on until his boyfriend gets home. He opens some game that Mingi downloaded for him not long ago and begins completing level after level, mind not on the game in front of him, but focused on what is soon to come. 

He sits there for a whole hour before the room door softly clicks open and in steps his boyfriend. He sits up straighter, placing his phone onto the nightstand and waits until his boyfriend notices that he’s in the room. Mingi moves to remove a sweat soaked shirt, likely due to exerting himself while he was out and seems to catch sight of Seonghwa out of the corner of his eye, jumping in surprise and lowering the garment back down so that it's back to modestly covering him.

Seonghwa makes the move to talk first, but is beaten by Mingi who spits out a, “So you’re not running away to sleep in a hotel tonight?” “Mingi, I’m so sor-”, “No Seonghwa, you can't just shut me out for a month, keep secrets from me and expect me to accept a simple apology. Just because you’ve been having trouble with your favourite boy toy.” Seonghwa is taken aback by this, spluttering dumbly at Mingi’s last accusation. 

“Fuck baby, you cant think that I liked him back in that way. I was just gutted that I'd hurt my best friend, but you’re the only one that I love and will ever love. I am sorry for ignoring your needs and shutting you out, but I was just hurting so much and didn’t want to burden you with my problems. I’m sorry for being such an idiot, I know now that I should have shared my concerns with you and not kept them all to myself. I’m sorry for keeping the fact that I couldn’t eat from you and for the way you found out, but I promise I'll get help for it, and I promise I'll talk to you and not keep things from you anymore. I will never touch another man and we can stop the thing we had going with the other members, please Mingi, I love you and I don’t want to lose you.” 

He’s once again in tears, big fat ones rolling down his cheeks even though he’d doubted earlier that he could shed another single one. Mingi sits there watching him for a second, before reaching over and pulling his boyfriend over by his hips to sit in his lap. Seonghwa melts into the strong embrace, breathing in his boyfriend’s comforting scent and listening to his steadily pounding heart beat as he continues to shudder unsteady breaths. He whispers, “I’m sorry,” over and over into his boyfriend's shoulder while the younger shushes him and presses long kisses to the crown of his head.

When he's finally calmed down enough to pull away, Mingi wipes at his nose and eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, triggering a few more tears to drop onto Seonghwa’s cheeks from the overpowering feeling of love and being loved. “Hwa, you do know that I'm always here for you right? I’ll never judge you when you’re going through a tough time, and I’ll always be here ready to help support you through it. I forgive you, and I trust you to keep that promise to get help and to confide in me next time. You are such a beautiful and strong human being, and I know you can deal with most things without help, but I’m more than prepared to listen to even your smallest concerns and help in any way possible, even if it is just listening to help take something off of your chest. And from now on I think we should only see each other after the mess one night has caused for us.”

Seonghwa grins goofily at this. “You truly are a god send Song Mingi. You are the best boyfriend ever and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” At this Mingi grabs him by the ass, hoisting him further up on his lap to join their lips for a passionate kiss, both missing a large moan coming from elsewhere in the dorm, too caught up in each other and the first kiss they have had in weeks. They both slide their lips together passionately, running tongues along seams and biting at each others swollen lips, not deepening it any further, wanting to just enjoy the moment.

They continue like this until Seonghwa pulls away from the kiss, removing his hands from behind his boyfriend’s neck and fake gagging at the amount of sweat that comes away on them. “Jeez, did you run a mini marathon or something? You are absolutely drenched in sweat, go take a shower or something!” Mingi sniggers softly at the grossed out expression on his boyfriend’s face, agreeing that he does indeed need one and picks up his screeching boyfriend to take him to the shower with him.

“UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT SONG MINGI! YOU BIG SWEATY OAF!” He can hear a chorus of laughter erupt from the other rooms in the house as his boyfriend carries him over his shoulder down the hall in the direction of the bathroom, and he just knows that everything is going to be okay.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

Extra:

When Mingi re-enters the house, covered in sweat and making a beeline toward his bedroom, Wooyoung decides it may be a good time for himself to retire to his own bed, having had a long day and wanting to be out of the line-of-fire if a further fight were to occur between the two quarreling lovers. He says goodnight to the other boys, already clad in his pyjamas and having brushed his teeth after their movie night earlier, so heading straight to retire to his room. He pads down the hall, and creaks his and San’s bedroom door open to slip inside.

He closes it behind him and turns to make his way over to the bed, but is instantly stopped by the sight that greets him. San sits in boxers on his bed reading a book, white t-shirt hanging dangerously low, exposing sharp collar bones and a large expanse of tanned unblemished skin which glows in the low light. His hair sits in a messy mop on top of his head, glasses perched on his nose as he inspects the page he's reading. Ridiculously, the hot sight of his boyfriend in such casual but alluring clothes turns him on. He groans loudly and flops down onto his bed, burying his face in his pillow and willing his half hard wee friend to calm down and kindly piss off. 

When San had said he’d like to date Wooyoung, they'd mutually agreed to take things slow, which meant that so far Wooyoung had had to deal with his little problems by himself secretly, cumming with his boyfriend’s sweet name rolling off of his lips, and memories of their first sexual encounter being the way he pushed himself over the edge. He really did want to get some action with San, seeing as the adonis of a man was finally his, but he knew he wasn't yet his to ravage, and he had to respect the boundaries they had set.

He rolls on his side to look at the man as the other clears his throat, making sure to hide his half mast erection with his leg as he does so. Said half hard erection pulses as he meets San’s eyes. San, whose eyebrow is quirked in the most ridiculously attractive way Wooyoung has ever seen an eyebrow arch. It makes the man look dominant and demanding, and Wooyoung ends up having to suppress a whimper. A groaned, “why are you looking at me like that,” brings Wooyoung to his senses, who clears his own throat and replies, “Like what?” 

San glares at him for the dumb reply and practically growls a, “Like you want to jump and ravage me.” Wooyoung looks away, knowing San just hit the nail right on the head, but not wanting to admit it to the other man or make anything awkward. He shifts uncomfortably, because his thighs have been crushing his hard dick as he's been trying to hide it, and with San staring at him like that he knows that it’s not going to go anywhere.

“Wait, seriously?” San asks, a cheshire grin spreading over his face as he slips a bookmark into his book, closing it and setting it on the bedside table. “You’re really that horny Wooyoung? Want my dick that badly?” So much for taking it slowly Wooyoung thinks to himself, covering his lightly blushing face with his hands. “Don’t say it in such a crude way San, it makes me sound dirty!” San lets out a small chuckle at that. “It's because you are dirty Wooyoung. Me simply sitting here is a turn on to you.” 

Wooyoung groans in embarrassment, but the sound is promptly swallowed as San quickly climbs over to his bed, locking lips with him. The other’s dirty mouth obviously wasn't a one time thing, but having the dirty talk directed at him and not Seonghwa this time is a massive turn on. He finds himself surging forward, knocking a surprised San back onto the bed, attacking his lips more furiously, delving his tongue into the other’s mouth and clashing their teeth passionately.

San is taken back for no more than a second, regaining dominance over the kiss, which Wooyoung willingly hands over, melting into the powerful man below him. San never ceases to amaze Wooyoung, bracing his elbows and lifting his hips to gyrate him and Wooyoung’s together rhythmically, making the man above him whimper and push down, forcing San’s thick thighs to support both of their bodies, while continuing to move.

“Woo baby, such a needy boy, pushing back so eagerly on me,” San rasps out into the other man's ear, pulling it into his mouth and sucking and tugging on the piercings with his teeth. Wooyoung moans loudly, jolting against the man below him when San’s teeth catch on a particularly sensitive spot, the drawn out sound finally driving San to flip them over to ravage his sexy boyfriend. 

In his new position San removes his first piece of clothing, pulling his own shirt over his head, before working Wooyoung’s off as well. San doesn’t give Wooyoung time to catch his breath, lips making their way straight down to two pert rosy nipples, kissing each one in turn before lathing his tongue against one, tugging at it gently with his teeth to elicit more of those divine sounds from Wooyoung, who has his hands gripping San’s biceps for dear life.

The man below him writhes around under the stimulation provided by his tongue, the area around his nipples beginning to swell from the constant abuse, making them all the more plump and kissable, so that's just what San does. Breathily Wooyoung calls down to San, “Stop making out with my chest and avert your lips attention either further up or further down, I won't last long if you keep going as you are.” 

San takes the hint the younger gives him and moves down to the other’s cute pyjama shorts with paw prints on them, tugging softly at the waist band, but making no move to actually pull them off. “Why are these childish pyjama shorts so small, they’re practically booty shorts on you. You look so hot baby, but it makes me jealous when you go parading your ass out in front of other men. Your ass is mine.” Wooyoung groans, lifting his hips up for San to finally slip the offending garment down to reveal naked skin and his fully hard erection.

“Your ass San,” he agrees, spreading his legs to show off his full glory and a purple protrusion from his cleanly shaven asshole. He hears the elder’s breath hitch as he notices the toy, eyes flicking to his briefly before they track down again to the visible expanse. “Filthy boy, you prepared yourself already?” he asks with no malice, but instead with a slightly awed voice. Wooyoung clears his throat in light embarrassment. “My eyes are up here babe, and I didn’t intend to prep myself for anything but my own entertainment. This is better than my one on one I had planned for myself for later on.”

San giggles amusedly at the honest answer, the soft tinkling sound and the radiant smile on his face making Wooyoung soft and happy on the inside. “Well, you’ve saved us some prep time, so let me reward you my good boy. Where's the remote?” Wooyoung leans over the edge of the bed to grab his pyjama shorts to fetch the vibrator’s remote from the pocket. When he manages to fish it out, he hands it to his boyfriend trustingly, lying back on the bed and preparing for what is coming his way.

The switch is flicked and Wooyoung’s body convulses, shocking with pleasure as San dials the toy up to its highest notch. Wooyoung moans loud and brokenly, tremors twitching his body from the intense feeling of constant abuse. He has to reach down and pull the toy out slightly to relieve his prostate of constant attention in order to stall his climax. San seems to think he’s trying to remove it, pulling Wooyoung’s hand away from the base of the toy to replace it with his own, making sure he has a firm grip before thrusting it in roughly. 

Wooyoung jerks at the harsh action, groaning in pleasure as the older male continues to thrust it firmly in and out of his pulsating hole. This continues until tears begin to collect in the corners of his eyes and his moans become broken and stretched out. San takes his state as him being close and finally switches the vibrations off, to which Wooyoung’s arched spine slumps back to melt into the mattress bonelessly as he pants, trying to collect more air into his seemingly empty lungs.

“You did so well for me baby, taking your vibrator so well. Would you like my cock now? Want me to fuck you so you can finally release?” Wooyoung hums his affirmative, having sore vocal chords from constantly moaning. He reaches up to his hair, pushing the sweaty locks back to expose his forehead and eyes, setting two dark orbs alluringly onto his boyfriend who crawls over to climb on top of him. 

When he's got Wooyoung caged between his arms, San dips down to catch the younger’s lips in a sweet kiss, massaging Wooyoung’s lips with his own, but not moving to deepen it with tongue. Wooyoung doesn't complain, loosening his lips to let San mould them how he likes, letting the other do all the work. San breaks the kiss to let the younger catch his breath, kissing his way across his jaw to his ear where he whispers, “Are you ready for me now baby?”

Wooyoung manages to rasp out a soft “yes,” in affirmative, letting himself be manhandled into position on his back with his knees bent and thighs spread suggestively. His boyfriend leans over to his own nightstand, coming back with a condom and lube Wooyoung hadn't found in there when he’d been rummaging around for headphones in the past. He tears the condom wrapper with his teeth, rolling it down his large length before popping the cap of the lube bottle and squirting a decent amount into his hand, lathing it over himself and then inserting wet fingers into Wooyoung’s thoroughly stretched hole as a safety precaution.

Wooyoung groans at the small intrusion, whining at San to just hurry up and put it in and that he is ready for it. San takes no further convincing, sliding three fingers from the gaping hole in front of him after a few easy thrusts and finding no catch. He grabs his dick with one hand, leaning further down to line himself up, rubbing the blunt end of it against Wooyoung’s hole firmly before pushing it in.

Both boys groan at the initial penetration, San making the sound into Wooyoung’s collar bone as the boy below him fists handfuls of his hair to ground himself, hissing softly. They sit like that for a short while, San peppering kisses over the boy’s chest and neck, the extent of skin where the hands in his hair will let him reach with his mouth. When Wooyoung’s hands eventually loosen their grip, San unwinds the digits from his hair, clasping the two hands in one fist and holding them above Wooyoung’s head. The younger stares at him with a heady expression, body completely at San’s mercy, so what does San do? He takes the beautiful boy below him.

His initial thrusts are slow and reasonably gentle, testing the waters due to this being the first time of them being intimate in this way with one and other. He caresses his unoccupied hand up and down the side of Wooyoung’s stomach, stealing chaste kisses with the boy below him as he continues to thrust into his tight heat. Wooyoung reacts beautifully, small breathy moans escaping from softly parted lips when San’s aren't over them to swallow the hot sounds.

It isn't until the younger starts pressing back against the careful thrusts that San begins to pick up the intensity, punching sharply into the body below him at a quickening pace and grinding in small gyrating circles when he presses right to the hilt. Wooyoung seems to appreciate the new tempo, squirming under his boyfriend’s punishing body, yet putting up no resistance to the hand gripping both of his in a gentle but strong hold.

This was exactly how he’d imagined it, San being strong but gentle, dominating yet attentive and everything Wooyoung wanted in a partner. To show the elder just how much he is enjoying himself he wraps his legs around San’s ass, using his strong thighs to pull the man above himself down so that they’re grinding in tight circles, face to face and Wooyoung’s dick flush between their stomachs, creating delicious friction. 

San seems to enjoy the new intimate position, taking it in his stride and switching up the tempo that he grinds his hips into the tight hole. His cock is constantly swallowed by Wooyoung’s hot ass, as he maintains intense eye contact with the boy below him, lips brushing but not kissing with their proximity, simply sharing the same air as they grow closer together.

San manages to find Wooyoung’s prostate with a particular twist of his hips, being alerted of his achievement by a drawn out moan practically against his lips. He smirks wickedly at the dazed looking boy below him, making sure to continue grinding over the same spot to get more beautiful reactions from his boyfriend. He continues doing this until the younger’s legs slacken from holding him down, and his eyes have rolled into the back of his head. He takes the opportunity to change the position, grabbing the younger’s hips and sitting back with him in his lap, still fully sheathed inside of the blissed out boy.

With his hands now free Wooyoung grabs San’s face, pulling him into the most intense lust-driven kiss they’ve ever shared, which doesn't last long before it's broken by San lifting Wooyoung by his hips in his hands and pulling him roughly back down on his cock. Understanding what is happening Wooyoung grabs hold of San’s shoulders, lifting himself up and dropping back down hard on his boyfriend’s erection, moans of San’s name spilling past swollen lips, until on one hard thrust down met by a thrust up of San’s sends him spiralling over the edge. 

Wooyoung comes hard with a moan verging on a scream, shuddering and convulsing above San as his thick cock shoots long strands of white fluid right up to their chins. San continues to make him ride him throughout his orgasm, until he too tips over the edge, taking a mouthful of Wooyoung’s shoulder and biting down hard as he empties multiple loads into the condom.

The two drop onto the bed in each others arms, panting after the intense session. Wooyoung is surprised when San admits, “that’s the best sex I’ve ever had,” and giggles out his own agreement to the afterglow induced statement.

They continue to lie there until their breathing has evened out and they are both on the verge of sleep, eyelids drooping with exhaustion. Wooyoung is cuddled up to San’s chest, who is currently carding his fingers gently through the younger’s sweat dampened hair. “Thank you for giving me a chance,” Wooyoung yawns into San’s collarbone, finally giving up and letting his eyes slide closed. The last thing he hears before he slips out of conscious is, “no, thank you my love,” and then it all goes blank.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and finishing this series with me, it means a lot to know that people have enjoyed my work. I plan to end this one here unless people are wanting a follow on sequel in the future, that will mainly focus on Wooyoung and San's new relationship and Seonghwa getting help for his newly developed eating disorder.  
> Let me know if you'd like a follow on to this work in the comments, or just come chat to me about the fic. Kudos and/or bookmarks are much appreciated <3  
> And once again the biggest thank you imaginable to my bestest (<-not a word, I know) friend and most talented editor, Nico_Diangelatte. Posting these fics to the level of perfection that they are grammatically is all down to you and your skills, so thank you to the moon and back my love!


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